Month 11, Day 30
1750 Hours
Drake MacGregor
Mac looked to Bugalu, who gave her a
nod, and they both sat down. “First, I state the dictate, then I explain what
it means, then I have to give him all the examples from my life that I can
think of. Then he gives me hypothetical examples of situations and I tell him
how the dictate would effect the outcome. We never get done with that portion
of the session, even though most of his examples are merely variations of his
earlier examples. We never get around to talking about why the dictate is
wrong, or stupid, or how to... disable it.”
“That doesn’t sound right. He never asks
how you feel about it?”
“Oh, yes, he does that. Many times
during the session. But he just makes a note of my answer and goes back to
giving me examples, or wherever we left off at. He doesn’t give me any advice
about what to do about it. At least
Bugs does that! Even if I can’t follow Bug’s advice right away, I have
something to work on trying.”
“I’m no psychiatrist, but that
definitely doesn’t sound right,” Drake repeated. “How can you get over
Winthrop’s attack if Fong doesn’t guide you to answers?”
“Oh, I think I am,” she answered. “Over
Winthrop’s attack. It was scary because I couldn’t make him stop. Even when a
full-fledged brawl ensued. Then I heard he was hopped up on some drug, and it
wasn’t my high-G strength at fault, so I calmed down a lot about that
situation.”
“I’m not sure I understand the problem.”
Bugalu chose to enter the conversation.
“Examining pa’s dictates every second day and not resolving them, or attempting
to resolve them, leaves her completely wound up tight. She can’t calm down
enough to date, and it’s getting almost bad enough to make her lose control and
deck somebody.”
“Do you need another hand massage?”
Drake asked her.
In a single second, a whole host of
emotions crossed her face, and then she shoved her hands across the table.
“Yes, please.”
Drake took the closest hand and began
his massage, but Bugalu seemed exasperated. “This may help in the short term,
but it doesn’t help her resolve her problems.”
“How did she ever make any progress with
her problems before this?” Drake asked.
“Back at the Academy, whenever one of
pa’s dictates reared its ugly head, I would logically and repeatedly explain
why it wasn’t feasible or normal, and how she should behave instead,” Bugalu
explained. “Eventually, some of it got through to her and she began to accept
it. Now she’s just getting pa’s rules, with no examination of why they’re wrong
or indications how to fight against them.”
“Well, that keeps her wound up, yes, I
can see that,” Drake said. “I’ll talk to Dr Fong, point out he’s not doing her
a lot of good with these tactics. But in the meantime, until he can go back and
do his best to rectify pa’s dictates, she’ll just need to avoid situations that
get her upset.”
“Hard to do when half the crew is asking
for dates,” Mac muttered, and her hand tried to ball up even as he was
massaging it.
“Easy now. Remember the hot tub
surrounded by flowers on your island retreat.”
She took a deep breath, and her hand
started to relax again. “Is Tall Bear on that island? Maybe he’d take me to a
movie.”
“That sounds like a date,” Drake teased.
“She’s being pestered for dates,” Bugalu
stated. “You should have seen the crowd of men I saw outside her quarters, all
wanting a date. Even without pa’s dictates, I would think that would put any
woman on edge.”
“Especially when I know they only want
one thing.”
“Well, if she wants to date...”
“Only with guys like Tall Bear. No more
dates like Ryan wanted.”
“You have to be careful who you date,”
Bugalu stated. “No dates with Evans, Jones, Adams, Moor or Ryan. Not under any
circumstances. You have to pick guys who aren’t going to expect sex right
away.”
“At all!” she corrected.
“Most of them will expect sex
eventually,” Drake told her, and her fists really did form tight balls. He
doggedly started his massage all over again. “But you don’t have to give it. As
soon as they start asking for it, you just say that’s not what you want, and
stop dating him. Completely. Don’t let him talk you into another date with
promises of best behavior. As soon as he does anything you aren’t comfortable
with, stop dating him.” She moaned, and he knew she was thinking of all those
men out in the hallway. “Look, I’ll come up with a list of 3 or 4 guys you can
try dating, but don’t feel obligated to go out every day. Or even every week.
Every bit of this is your choice, Mac.”
“Not really,” she sighed. “I just...
There’s this one guy...”
“There’s one guy she wants to date, but
he hasn’t asked her,” Bugalu revealed.
“Hmm. Maybe you should ask one of the
ladies about the art of flirting,” Drake suggested.
“It’s hopeless,” she bemoaned.
“No, don’t think like that,” he told
her. “Just go on a few dates, try to have fun. Now, what have you been doing to
pass the time?”
She rolled her eyes and leaned back in
her chair, pulling her hand from his ministrations. “Hiding.”
“What?” That doesn’t sound right.
She licked her lips. “MacG, it used to
be only 8 hours—I can’t believe I just said ‘only 8 hours’, but I did. 8 hours a day, 4 days a week. Now it’s 24
hours, 8 days a week. The only way I get any relief is to hide! I sit in my
room, working on my projects or reading. I’ve got the door locked, and usually,
the intercom off. But knowing there’s some decent engineers who’d be able to
get the computer to unlock my door, or at least open the intercom, makes me
plenty nervous!”
“Well, not tonight,” Bugalu told her.
“Tonight we’re going to the gym, and then a rec room.”
Her whole face lit up, and she seemed
ready to leave right now.
And
why not? Probably do her more good than a hand massage. “Sounds like a plan,” Drake told them both,
and then pointed to Mac. “Anytime you feel the need of a hand massage, look me
up. Or Beth. She’s the one who taught me. Now go on, go have fun.”
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