Ruminations & Regrets

 

Month 11, Day 30

2327 Hours

Jane Burke

 

 Jane watched the two lieutenants move off and finished her coffee. “Well, between the sugar and the caffeine, that’ll probably keep me awake for a while,” she stated.

“But you wanted—”

“I did,” she agreed, and eyed his remaining pie. “Apparently, you weren’t so keen on the idea. Shall we go?”

“Yes,” Smitty agreed, and stood up. They returned their trays to the disposal and headed for the closest lift. “You choice of conversation subject surprised me, captain.”

“I’m happy to hear that MacDowell is dating,” she answered. “Too often I see these youngsters frittering their time away.”

“I’m not sure I follow you.”

“Oh, this isn’t a mood I relish being in,” she returned. “Tell me, Smitty, did you ever think you had met the person you could marry?”

“Ahhh...”

She wasn’t surprised by his reticence. “I did. Once. We were lieutenants at the time, and quite the hot item. I was sure we’d be married before either of us made Lt Cmdr. But then he was promoted. And shipped out. He tried to get a spot for me on the same ship, but they didn’t have one available. So we separated, and then... things never quite worked out for us.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get married while the iron was hot, so to speak. If we had already been married...”

“They would have had to make arrangements for both of you to transfer together,” he ended for her.

“True,” she agreed as they got onto the lift. As the machine started off, she wondered, “On the other hand, maybe I’m better off without having tagged along on his shirt tails. I certainly wouldn’t have gotten the same assignments as I did get. Can’t even be certain I’d currently be a captain. Or in the Fleet.”

“Captain, I’m certain you—” Smitty started to protest.

“No, hear me out,” she cut him off. “That young man transferred out with his new promotion, and got married before he’d been gone for a year. His bride got pregnant almost immediately and went on maternity leave. She had 3 children in rapid order, and she’s still got 6 years left before the youngest turns 18, at which point she has the option of returning to the fleet. As a lieutenant. I haven’t thought about it for a long time, but whenever I do, I arrive at the conclusion that that could have happened to me. And I’m not sure I’d come back to the Fleet at that rank, at that age. On the other hand, I don’t think being a mother and housewife would have been that fulfilling for me. I’m sure I would have done something, to fill my own longing to make a difference in this universe. Thankfully, I haven’t had to try to figure out what that would be, because I am very happy where I am.”

“And you do a marvelous job, captain.”

She held up a hand to cut off his compliments. The lift door opened, and they got off, continued walking together. “I’m just trying to point out that Fleet regulations and organization is behind the times. Most women don’t need to go on maternity leave as soon as it’s known they’re pregnant. The fleet will make arrangements to keep a family together, so long as that family consists of just 2 people.”

“Well, what else would you expect the fleet to do?” he asked.

“We aren’t a war fleet, per se.” She stated. “Yes, we have weapons, but that’s because most of space is full of the unknown. We’ve been called a peace-keeping fleet, but we hardly ever use our weapons, even for that. When we do, it’s usually on some of that unknown I mentioned. I truly do not see why ships cannot have accommodations for entire families.”

“You mean, babies and children?”

“Exactly. Yes, there would be a whole new level of support personnel needed; child care, teachers. But you wouldn’t have families separated by light years for months or years at a time. I would think that would be a lot healthier for everybody involved.”

“I think I understand what you’re trying to say,” Smitty said. They had reached the door to the captain’s quarters, and he nearly stepped away, to go to his own room, but she didn’t seem to be done yet.

“Well, I didn’t mean to get onto that particular topic,” she stated. “What I was starting to say was that too many young people seem to think they have all the time in the world to find the love of their life, and they’re assigned to a ship for several years, most likely. A ship with only 500 crew members, or even less. Definitely less than that are the same rank. What if they don’t fall in love with anybody who’s available to them? Say that happens, and then they go to another ship, and they still don’t find the love of their life. If we’re talking a woman, she could be approaching the end of her child-bearing years. Her biology is eager for her to settle down. She either snatches up someone she thinks she can tolerate for a few years, or she has to ignore that biological urge.” She got a far-away look in her eyes. “I hope I pass away before I wind up in some old officer’s home, unloved and forgotten.”

“Captain!”

“No, that isn’t what I was trying to get to, either,” she said. “I just think young people should look around them, look hard at their crewmates, and see if they can’t find somebody to marry. Whether they have children or not, that’s up to them. And since I’ve finally gotten to the real topic I wanted to express, let me encourage you to do the same, Smitty. At your rank, there’s only a couple women aboard you can date without getting into trouble. Get another promotion, and your choices would be even fewer. If you ever thought of getting married, think about it now! Before it’s too late!” She turned and entered her quarters. I couldn’t have said it more bluntly than that.