Bad News Shared

Month 11, Day 8

1657 Hours

Smitty

 Smitty claimed his supper tray and a cup of hot tea, and made his way over to the table where Jane and Duck were already seated. Not sure I even want supper. I’ve had a sour stomach since Jane dismissed us this morning, and digging through Colleen’s sub-sub files have only made it worse. Now I can understand why she was so willing to use her fists if a man got too fresh with her.

He sat down and stared at his food. Why the devil did I get this? This is never going to sit in my stomach and be a comfort. I probably won’t even be able to sleep tonight, especially if I continue to study her files.

He realized someone was talking to him and looked up. “What?”

Drake looked him over carefully. “I asked if you were okay. You look a bit green, and you’re staring at your food as if it were poison.”

“I just— I’m not feeling quite right. Sour stomach.”

“How long has it been like that?” the doctor asked.

“All afternoon. I thought it was because I skipped lunch, and some food would help, but the more I think about food, the worse it gets.”

“What have you been doing all afternoon?” Jane wondered.

“Studying records. Personnel records. Like you told me to.”

Jane and Drake exchanged glances. Drake pulled a small bottle from his pocket and passed it over to him. “I think these will help. I got so worked up this afternoon, I had to resort to them myself. Take one now and 1 before you go to bed.”

“And if I still feel like this in the morning?”

“Then I’ll want to see you in sick bay before I prescribe anything stronger.”

That figures. “Alright.” Smitty took one of the pills and washed it down with some tea. “Captain, did you talk to Colleen, uh, MacDowell this afternoon?”

“Yes.” she confirmed. “Timed it pretty well, if I do say so myself. Afterwards, I took her onto bridge, released Lt Bugalu even though his replacement hadn’t arrived by then, and sent them off together.”

Stunned, Smitty could only stare at her in dismay. What’s this? Jane is actively encouraging Bugalu and Colleen to be together? Well, why not? They’re both lieutenants, there’s no rank differential to speak off. You know perfectly well Colleen’s not for you, Smitty, so just stop thinking about it. It’ll never happen.

“I imagine she was pretty upset,” Drake stated.

“That’s what I expected. But if I had to describe how she took the news, I’d say she was stoic. I took that to mean she wasn’t surprised by my news, and since there was nothing more she could do about it, she was determined not to let it ruin her day. Or week. Or her life.”

“That sounds all well and good,” Drake stated. “But it isn’t good for her to keep her feelings all bottled up inside.” He frowned at his scalloped potatoes for a moment. “Maybe I should alert Dr Fong to this. If she’s determined not to let it bother her, she might not even mention it to him.”

“Has he mentioned how she’s doing during their sessions?” Jane asked. “Is she still seeing him?”

“Every day, from what I gather. He mentioned that he has to pick at what she says from time to time to get her to elaborate, but I gather that’s pretty par for the course.”

“Every day? Isn’t that a bit much?” Smitty asked.

“She started out their first session asking him to help her unpack her luggage from her upbringing. She didn’t say a word about Winthrop’s attack until he specifically asked her about it. So he says he’s seeing her so often in part to get her over the attack and in part to see where her head is at, in order to help her get over the attack.”

“Kind of a circle of work for him, then.”

“Exactly. I haven’t asked for specifics, but when he comes back from one of their sessions, he frequently has a dazed look about him. She hasn’t told me a lot about her childhood, but I already don’t have any respect for her father, so I understand what Fong is going through. I think.”

Jane shook her head. “One wonders how she passed her psych eval to get in the Academy.”

“Well, there aren’t a lot of questions about sex to trip her up,” Drake answered.

Smitty took another swig of his tea, but it was no good. Even that wasn’t settling his stomach. “This is no good,” he said. “These pills aren’t helping at all. I’m going to call it a night and go to my room.” He stood up and walked off to place his untouched meal in the recycling.

Halfway to the exit, he heard Colleen tell her friends, “I have to go; I’m already late.” She stood up and turned and saw him as they both approached the recycling chute. “Oh, Smit,” she greeted him. “You look a little pale. Is everything alright?”

“No,” he returned tartly, and then caught his breath. “Sorry, I’m a bit under the weather today.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. It won’t keep you from coming to our meeting tonight, will it?”

What meeting?

“I’m not sure we can get much of anything done without you there.”

What meeting? Who is ‘we’? Will she please stop talking in riddles?

“Oh, I’m probably going to be late. I’m already late for my session with Dr Fong, and he really expects a full hour for our sessions. Then I’ll have to change into my D uniform. I don’t feel like wearing my E uniform this week. I hope that’s okay.”

The Yukosk transporter beam! The 4 of us working on trying to build it! And that’s tonight! How could I have forgotten? “That’s fine,” he told her, slightly disappointed she wouldn’t be in an E uniform. No doubt I’ll find it easier to think. “Wear whichever uniform makes you comfortable.” As she shoved her tray into the recycling chute, he dared to add, “I’m sorry about the news from Headquarters.”

“Oh. Well. I was hoping I was wrong. See you in about an hour, Smit.”

She turned and left, and he very nearly placed his tray in the recycling chute out of habit, but then it dawned on him that he hadn’t eaten lunch, now he was about to skip supper, and space, he was hungry! He turned around and rejoined Jane and Drake and started shoveling his food into his mouth, only pausing to tell Drake, “Wonderful pill you gave me, Duck.”