A Rational Discussion

Month 17 Day 24

2144 Hours

Smitty

In the pleasant afterglow of sex, Smitty rolled off his beloved and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m never going to get tired of having sex with you,” he told her softly and kissed her cheek.

“I feel the same,” she told him, and her mouth formed a soft smile, though her emerald eyes looked rather bleak.

She hasn't been herself since she got back from sick bay this morning. “What’s got you upset?” He asked after a moment. She's been pensive and rather uncommunicative all afternoon. What did Drake say to her at her medical exam this morning? Is he still trying to replace me?

It took several long moments before she answered. “I’m not making enough progress in strengthening my internal muscles,” She finally said. “It looks like I need to return to Gaelund until after childbirth.”

“Oh.” He thought about that for a time. “I can ask for a leave of absence and go with you.”

Her face went white, and her eyes grew round in horror. “No, you can’t!” She shook her head emphatically. “Gaelund’s gravity would be too much for you. You wouldn’t die right away, but you would die at least 20 years earlier than you would under Earth gravity. I’m not willing to have that happen so soon.”

Hmm, even MacGregor has implied something like that, a time or two. There has to be a way we could make it work. “I could stay on one of the space stations, get a temporary job.”

She snuggled closer to him, but he could feel her trembling within their embrace. “I don’t see any purpose to it. You wouldn’t be able to come down to Gaelund to see me, and I wouldn’t be able to come up to see you. Plus… I wouldn’t want my family to make life miserable for you. Which they would do, sooner or later. All my brothers and my father, all with Gaelund strength.” She shuddered and pulled him closer. “They could easily kill you.”

He held her tight for several minutes, wondering what to say to ease her worries. It almost seems like she’s looking for excuses. Has she changed her mind about us? Could this be pre-ceremony jitters? “They wouldn’t have any reason for any of that. We’d be married.”

She was still quivering with fear, still slow to answer. “I don’t know,” she answered haltingly. “Papa probably still sees me as his little girl, not to be deflowered by anyone. And my brothers just fall right in line with whatever he says. When I came back for Matt’s funeral, Pa treated me just the same as he did before I left for the Academy, and I was long past the age of adulthood, even on Gaelund. Even if he did somehow get used to the idea of me being married and having my own kids, he didn’t choose you, so he’d hold that against you. Probably forever.”

He turned that over and over in his head, looking for any way forward that wouldn’t bring on more excuses. She got mad at me once for not asking for her input before making decisions that would effect both of us. Maybe that sort of thing is rearing up to upset her again, even though we have been discussing various options between us. Lots of options, but not her returning to Gaelund. “Well, do you have any suggestions?”

Her breath gently tickled the side of his neck and down his chest. She took a long time to answer; so long, he began to fear the personal alarm would go off before she responded, and she would have to leave the question unanswered. But eventually, she gave him a gentle kiss. “I think I have to go to Gaelund to have our child. That means I’ll have to leave the Fleet, of course, but I’ll have a pension to help me get through. Doing it that way will let you stay here, at a job you love, for another year. After that, I can meet you wherever you transfer to, and then we’ll be together.”

Her pension will be blasted small, no longer than she’s been in the Fleet. But that’s okay. I’ll send money to support them. “Is that what you want to do?”

“No,” she responded right away, and gave him another kiss. “I’d rather marry you and move with you wherever you transfer, and live happily ever after. Even if I have to consciously and consistently carry my Gaelund gravity with me everywhere I go. But I'm afraid I might mess that up. So it seems easier to go to Gaelund for a finite time and then live happily ever after.”

“A year is a long time to be without you.”

“We're facing that anyway,” she pointed out. “I have to go into strict Gaelund gravity as soon as I leave this ship. We won’t even have an hour a day for sex. Or just holding. Having you in the other half of the room, or of the apartment… I don’t know if I can do that, day after day, for an entire year.”

“You think it would be easier to be far from each other for a year?”

“Probably not,” she admitted. “But I wouldn’t be facing the temptation, the option of turning off the Gaelund gravity and climbing into bed with you. I would be on Gaelund. Doing what I have to do for the health of our baby. And knowing that I've also made the right choice in regards to you; you'll be too far away to ignore the danger of Gaelund gravity on your body.”

Maybe she’s right. Once we get married, I can have the Fleet send half my paycheck to her while she’s on Gaelund. That should get her through. I’ll miss her terribly, but giving up the sex and the holding is probably best done cold, and without the temptation of chucking it aside at a moment’s notice. He let his hand slide down her back to cup her derriere. “I shall miss you every minute that you are away from me.” If she needs Gaelund gravity, then she shall have Gaelund gravity, whatever I have to do.

“And I will yearn for you with every particle of my being,” she murmured sweetly, and moved her head to glance at the personal alarm. “Speaking of which, are you ready for more sex?”

“Absolutely.” And he kissed her passionately.